[Scene: Meade Publications Lobby]
Betty: I like your poncho. My dad got me one in Guadalajara.
Woman: Milan. Dolce & Gabbana. Fall.
Man: Betty Suarez?
Betty: Hi. That’s me. Um, I have a hard copy of my resume if you need it. Should I follow you?
Man: Actually there’s been a mistake. All the entry-level positions we were hiring for they’ve been filled. I’m sorry.
Betty: Um, sir? While you got me here, I thought I could tell you a little about myself. Magazines are my passion, ever since I was a kid… I know most of your magazines inside out. I try to devour as much as I can.
Man: Clearly.
Betty: Also, I’ve learned so much through them. You know, stuff so beyond my world, like- like who the up-and-comers are on the London art scene, or- or what the political machinations in Darfur are all about, or which Bali Resort is considered the most romantic in the world. And I have tons of ideas. I’m always jotting stuff down on the subway. But I’m getting ahead of myself, sir. in any position or publication. All I really want is a chance.
Man: Good-bye!
Betty: I can type 100 words a minute!
[Scene: Suarez Family Kitchen]
Justin: I hate telenovelas. I wanna watch Fashion TV.
Hilda: Justin, you can watch Fashion TV later when your aunt Betty is babysitting, okay? Come have some flan.
Justin: I don’t want flan. I’ll get fat.
Hilda: Honey, you’re a boy. It doesn’t matter if you’re fat or not.
Hilda: Betty, did you order dad’s birthday cake?
Betty: Of course. Chocolate volcano, same one I got last year.
Ignacio: So how was your interview?
Betty: Um… I think it was really good. I mean, they were impressed.
Hilda: You didn’t get it.
Betty: Well, they said that they had hired everyone they needed.
Ignacio: I don’t understand. You’re sharp, you’re prepared. Someone should have begged you to work for them the day you graduated Queens College.
Hilda: Betty, have you thought about exploring other options?
Betty: Hilda, I am not going to sell Herbalux.
Hilda: Well, I wasn’t saying that necessarily.
Betty: Dad.
Ignacio: This career is Betty’s dream.
Hilda: Okay, but I hear somebody else has some pretty big dreams, too.
Betty: What are you talking about?
Hilda: Justin, tell your aunt Betty what her boyfriend was saying the other night.
Justin: Walter was on his cell phone talking to someone, and he said, “She’s the one.”
Hilda: He wants to marry you?
Betty: He does?
Hilda: Well, would you do it?
Betty: Well, I mean—we haven’t talked about that yet, but—
Hilda: Well, I think he’s a catch. Flan?
(A knock at the door; Walter enters)
Walter: That’s him. Hi, Ignacio, Hilda. Hi, Betty.
Betty: Hey.
Walter: Here. It’s a return. The mute doesn’t work, but it sounds awesome.
Betty: Thank you.
Walter: Uh—Betty, can we talk?
Betty: Yes. Sure.
Walter: Oh, um, outside.
Betty: Yeah, okay.
[Scene: Television News Report]
News Reporter (V.O.): Celebrity-studded funeral services were held today for Fey Sommers, the much loved and hated editor in chief of fashion bible “Mode” magazine. It was the bitch slap heard ‘round the world when longtime “Mode” creative director Wilhelmina Slater was passed over for the top spot in favor of Daniel Meade, the nominally experienced son of Meade Publications owner Bradford Meade. Can the notorious manwhore translate his talent at bedding women into dressing them?
[Scene: Daniel Meade’s New Office]
Bradford: How do you like your new office?
Daniel: You scared me. Um, would you just, uh, give me a few minutes? There’s some—some things I need to wrap up before I leave.
Bradford: Interesting decorating motif.
Daniel: (To the woman under the desk) You can get up. He knows you’re there.
(Charmaine crawls out from under the desk, adjusting her clothes)
Daniel: I’d like to introduce you to my new assistant, Charmaine.
Bradford: I’m sorry to interrupt your dictation, but this is not the way you run a magazine.
[Scene: Outside the Suarez House]
Betty: What?
Walter: I’m in love with someone else.
Betty: But… How? I—I mean, I thought we… Well, who is it?
Betty: (Realizing) Gina Gambarro?
Walter: I’m sorry, I—I—
Betty: No. You don’t have to say anything else. Good luck, Walter, with everything.
[Scene: Suarez Family Living Room – Later]
(Betty is looking dejected. The phone rings. Justin is there with her)
Justin: Are you feeling any better?
Betty: I’m fine.
Justin: (Answering the phone) Hello? (To Betty) Some guy from Meat Publications.
Betty: Meade?
Betty: (Taking the phone) This is Betty Suarez.
Betty: Are you serious? Yeah! I—yeah, of course I—I can start tomorrow.
Betty: Um, what magazine is this for? “Mode”?
Betty: Yeah, I’ll be there first thing in the morning. Okay! Thank you. Bye!
Betty: (To her family, ecstatic) Assistant to the editor in chief!
Justin: I didn’t know you wanted to work for “Mode.”
Betty: Well, this wouldn’t have been my first choice, but if I do good here, I can go anywhere in the company.
Justin: Well, just try and dress fashionably. Do you have anything?
Betty: Actually, I do.
[The Reception Desk at MODE]
(The scene opens with Amanda looking up from her desk, visibly shocked by the person standing in front of her.)
Amanda: Oh, my god.
Betty: Hi.
Amanda: You the “before”? Before and after—the photo shoot. Are you delivering something?
Betty: Oh, no! No. I—I work here.
Amanda: For?
Betty: For the new editor in chief.
Amanda: So everyone’s in the conference room, and Daniel’s about to start his first staff meeting. I’m Amanda, by the way.
Betty: Betty.
Amanda: Okay, F.Y.I., Betsy, assistants are usually here before their bosses.
Betty: Oh, well, I was filling out paperwork in H.R.
Amanda: Yeah, just don’t let it happen again. So, uh, where do you come from?
Betty: Queens.
Amanda: What job did you have?
Betty: Oh, actually, apart from internships and part-time jobs to pay for school, this is my first real job.
Amanda: That’s funny. I was told I didn’t have enough experience for the position. It’s over there.
[Inside the Conference Room]
(Betty is standing before a mirror, giving herself a pep talk. Daniel and the staff watch her in silence.)
Betty: You are an attractive, intelligent, confident businesswoman.
Daniel: So I gotta confess—I’m probably not gonna remember everyone’s names, and I’m really, uh… Are you okay?
Betty: I’m okay. I’m fine. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.
Daniel: Anyway, uh, I wish I wasn’t—Uh, I wish I wasn’t coming in as a new guy under such terrible circumstances. I realize I have some awful big shoes to fill, but I can’t tell you how excited I am to be working with such an amazingly talented and dedicated staff. Now I’d like to take the moment to talk a little about some of the ideas—
Wilhelmina: (Entering dramatically) So sorry I’m late. Oh, you began without me.
Daniel: Sorry, Wilhelmina, I waited—
Wilhelmina: Shh! Marc, gift.
Marc: Thank you.
Daniel: As I was saying, I really wanna—
Wilhelmina: Well, aren’t you gonna open it?
Daniel: Swarovski crystal, to commemorate your first day. Thank you. But it is “Daniel,” not “Danny.”
Wilhelmina: What? I’m hellaciously upset, Marc.
Marc: Oh, my god, I am so sorry.
Wilhelmina: Shh! Purge this from memory, please.
Daniel: As I was saying, it’s a particularly exciting time for me because—
Wilhelmina: I think we need to discuss the Fabia Cosmetics supplement.
Daniel: Fabia Cosmetics?
Wilhelmina: The biggest ad buy of the year, and the only paid layout editorial ever works on.
Daniel: Well, I’m sure Fabia will love whatever we come up with, right?
Wilhelmina: Daniel, you—you don’t understand. Given the new circumstances, Fabia needs to sign off on the spread before we go to print. Obviously, we’re all here to help you succeed, and we’ve got plenty of ideas. So I think we all need to get back to work to make sure that this—your very first issue with your name on the masthead—sparkles. Okay, everyone, let’s not dillydally. Our editor needs us.
Marc: (Walking past Betty) Killer poncho.
Betty: Thanks!
[Scene 3: Just Outside the Conference Room]
(As the staff disperses, Betty rushes to catch up with Daniel.)
Betty: Mr. Meade? Excuse me, um, Mr. Meade? Hi. Um, I just wanted to come and introduce myself personally. I’m Betty Suarez. It’s a—a pleasure to meet you.
Daniel: Hi, Betty. Um, um who do you work for?
Betty: Well, um, I work for you. I’m your new assistant.
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